🧨 Witchy Lies We’ve Been Told, Episode # 9: “That Crystal Above Your Door Is ‘Just for Décor’ (Yeah, Tell That to My Dizzy Aunt Carol)”

Let’s get this straight:
You’re telling me placing a selenite wand above your door won’t do a damn thing? That it’s just “woo-woo décor” for aesthetic witches with too much Etsy credit?

LIE DETECTED.
Because the last time my Aunt Carol walked into my house — unannounced, judgmental, clomping in with redneck audacity and a Walmart bag full of judgment — she barely made it past the threshold before clutching her temples and asking if I had “any Advil.”

No, Carol. What I have is energetic boundaries. And selenite.

🔮 What’s the Deal with Selenite?

Selenite is the crystal equivalent of sage, salt, and side-eye. It doesn’t just cleanse — it evicts bad vibes like it’s late on rent.

By placing it above your front door, you’re setting the tone:
“This house? High vibe only. Low-frequency nonsense gets spiritually tasered at the gate.”

Does it make people with bad intentions feel sick? Mayb Maybe not. But it sure as hell makes them uncomfortable — because their energy doesn’t match your frequency anymore.

🧙‍♀️ Witchy Lie: “Using Crystals for Protection Is Superstitious, Silly, or Dark Magic”

How convenient for certain institutions to label self-protection as evil. They’d rather you believe that your only line of defense is prayer, fear, and obedience — not your own intuition and a $7 selenite stick that can clear energy and look good doing it.

But here’s the truth: Crystals aren’t evil. Intentions aren’t dangerous. And protecting your space isn’t “dark” — it’s divine.

🏠 How to Do the Door Trick (aka, The Carol Repellent)

1. Clean your selenite (moonlight, sound, breath, or Reiki it up).

2. Set your intention: “Only love and high-frequency energy may enter. All else is blocked, bounced, or banished.”

3. Mount it above your door — wand-style, tower-style, doesn’t matter. Just make it clear this is a No BS Zone™.

4. Bonus protection spell: Pair it with black tourmaline or a sigil. For spice.

🧿 Protecting Your Energy ≠ Being Aggressive

Let’s get one thing clear: You’re not “hexing” anyone. You’re just tuning your space like a high-frequency radio. If someone comes in broadcasting static, it’s not your fault their vibes short-circuit. That’s on them — and maybe on Carol’s unresolved karmic debt.

Moral of the story: Don’t let anyone shame you for protecting your peace.
Especially not Aunt Carol.

🛡️ Bonus Round: Want to Take That Energy Shield on the Go?

You’ve warded your door, saged your space, and blocked Carol’s energy so hard she had to “sit down for a minute” — now take that protection with you.